Homeschoooling

We are now into our fourth week of homeschooling. I love seeing the changes in my kids. The confidence, starting to take risks again and self esteem are all slowly returning from non existence. Wanting to work longer and harder. They are having fun learning and are feeling better about learning in an environment where they are safe to make mistakes. They are not teased, not called stupid and not embarrassed by being called upon and they get the answer wrong. Everyone makes mistakes and it is making mistakes that helps us to learn. Mistakes are slowly being seen as human and not a big deal. When we first started schooling from home they were afraid to speak their thoughts out loud for fear they were wrong. With encouragement they began to share and they even began to encourage each other. It has been a really rewarding experience.

The kids actually have asked to do more work when we are finished for the day. They  have asked to work ahead. There are kids who hated homework and now they don't want positive learning to end. I never thought I would see the day and it has happened so quickly that I am truly amazed. This is truly a wonderful experience. I have some days were I am so totally unwell that I teach from bed but that doesn't take away from anything. In fact my children are also learning compassion for others.

I am so very proud of who my children are as individuals. They are both wonderfully creative and fun. We are lucky parents indeed.

© 2011 Rhonda

Health & Homeschooling Update

 So much has happened since I blogged last I don't know where to begin. I have not been doing well hence my absence.

I have a new Rheumatologist at Sunnybrook hospital and she is AMAZING. She actually listened to me for two hours in her office. Just the two of us with no flunkies (students/interns) to be seen. She did a through examination. She asked me where my meds were fore my Raynauds and Sjorgens. I told her I was not diagnosed with either of those things hence no medications. She then diagnosed Raynauds Phenomenon and Secondary Sjorgens. Two and a half weeks ago I had a lip biopsy to confirm the Sjorgens. This is rather painful as the section they removed for the biopsy is right at the base of the gums on the inside of your mouth and the stitches rub every time you move, chew or breath. Not to mention that my mouth is even drier than usual.  He also had me spit into a cup for a period of 20 minutes and was very concerned when he saw that I only had less than 1ml of saliva. I worked darn hard to get that much for him. My mouth is so dry that I cannot eat without a drink. If I try to swallow food without a drink I choke. I am often scared as my mouth seems to have forgotten how to swallow on occasions. Eventually I will swallow but this happens when there is nothing in my mouth other then very small amounts of saliva. Insanely scary when it happens.  The biopsy was completed by a Dental Pathologist and confirmed the diagnosis. He also confirmed that I had RA in jaw joints and the lump on my lower left jaw is a nodule. I couldn't believe that considering it is the size of a golf ball and all of my other nodules are rather small in size.

My new Rheumy also ordered: blood work, hand feet and chest x-rays, Doppler testing on all my extremities, an ophthalmologist appointment to review my eyes (check up since I am on Plaquinil and because of the Sjorgens) and a pulmonary function test. She increased my methotrexate and said she would see me again in three weeks. Hopefully then we would have the majority of test results back so that we could make treatment decisions.

In the mean time she also wanted me to quit smoking! I have tried several times a year for the past three years. I have tried hypnosis, medications, laser, acupuncture, cold turkey and anything and everything there is out there. I have not achieved success or anything close to it. Heck I can't get past day three, so for her to say it like it is an easy thing to do quickly is almost laughable. I will try and figure out a way, but honestly the chemo that they put in my body is worse and more harmful than smoking...but I still need to quit. Just not sure how or when. I am so stressed being chronically ill, still getting over pneumonia, in chronic pain each and every day just does not lend itself to success. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated but please no lectures.

Due to having Raynauds I've been told that I can only where  socks that are 80% + silk. While light weight they will keep my feet warm while wicking away sweat which is what makes most people's feet cold winter. I have also had to eliminate caffeine for my diet and I have to quit smoking . This means caffeine free soda, no coffee or tea and worst of all no chocolate! As if all of these autoimmune diseases aren't enough they want to take away my chocolate too... Just doesn't seem fair few asked me...lol

The other exciting thing that is happened since I wrote last is that I am now home schooling my son and daughter. This has been a wonderful learning experience for all and the transition for the most part has gone well. I am quite sure come January that we will have a wonderful schedule worked out. While we are on week three, I have had an extraordinary amount of tests completed with having a new Rheumatologist. It really has been a crazy few weeks. Mostly we have focused on: math, language, reading and writing. come the new year we will add social studies and science. I have also found a wonderful artist whose studio is about 15 min. away and the kids will be taking weekly art lessons. Week one will be pencil drawings, week two will be pottery, week three will be watercolors and the final week will be the children's choice.

It is been interesting to learn what teaching styles my children learn from the best. This also varies by subject, you know just to keep it interesting...lol This is been a wonderful opportunity to spend time with my children while working closely with them to achieve their educational goals. To watch my son on a Monday throw temper tantrum ( like I haven't seen since he was two) because four digit addition with carrying was too hard. He declared that he didn't get it last year and he was never going to get it so I should forget about it and leave him alone! I reminded him that learning new things depends on two factor's 1) the teacher and 2)his attitude. I agreed and four digit addition equations were hard but that I also believed that he was very capable of doing things that were hard. If he changed his attitude and believed that he could do it then I promised to never give up and that I would continue to find new ways to teach him until he was successful in learning how to do those types of math questions.  By Wednesday his self-confidence was through the roof! He challenged me to come up with longer and longer questions. Eventually we wrote a 33 digit math question on the whiteboard that he completed correctly for his dad when he came home from work. Seeing the change in his self-confidence was what made me positive I had done the right things by pulling them out of school and deciding to homeschool. All three of us are very happy with our decision. Oh ya so is my husband :)  It is going to take some getting used to but I am sure once all of my tests are out of the way and the Christmas season is over that we will settle into a nice routine to see out the school year.

I saw my wonderful new Rheumatologist today. she confirmed I have permanent damage in my fingers and toes from the RA. For the first time my CRP levels are high. Up until today the only test that showed/confirmed RA was the anti-CCP. She said that it is very clear that I have severe and aggressive RA. She is concerned about my lungs and therefore did not increase my methotrexate again. She added an additional DMARD called Sulfasalazine which I will begin tomorrow. Apparently when it comes to RA it is the combination of three DMARD's or two DMARD's and a biologic that has the greatest success rate in seeing improvements in RA patients. If my pulmonary function tests and my chest x-ray come back with any concerns than she may discontinue my methotrexate and she may or may not be able to proceed with biologic treatment. This has me worried but I'm trying very hard not to think about what will happen if I can no longer take my methotrexate nor biologic treatment. I keep reminding myself that worry is like a rocking chair it gives us something to do but it doesn't get us anywhere.

On the brighter side thanks to online shopping I have completed all of my Christmas shopping. Just waiting for all of my deliveries. This gives me a couple of weeks to get everything wrapped and ready for Christmas Eve. I am very much looking forward to Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. Thanks to my wonderful husband, children and parents my house and Christmas tree have been decorated.

Are you ready for Christmas? What are your favorite family traditions? I know the next few weeks will be busy but I promise to do my best and check in with a couple of posts between now and Christmas.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing from you!



© 2011 Rhonda

Excitement is brewing in our house

 On November 21st, 2011 will begin my children's change from public education to being home schooled. I am beyond excited in the opportunity that I am about to afford my children. They are going to be educated according to their strengths, passions and in ways that bring out the best of their abilities.

On November 17th the last day of school will be the day that my daughter goes off of her medications for ADHD and Anxiety/Sleep Disorders. I will teach her in a manner that allows for her unique and creative mind. Some people just need to move to think that doesn't make it wrong it just means she is different and different is WONDERFUL. She will stop comparing herself to others and feeling like a failure because she is not a traditional sheep that our school generate. She is: delightful, a day dreamer, creative, She radiates happiness, joy and is so very full of life. We are going to embrace it rather than squash it. We are going to let her be, it is not wrong it is the way she was born. It might not fit with the public education model that insisted that if she were not medicated she could not be taught. We will help her to embrace the individual that she is and to see herself in a positive light for all she will accomplish once she is free to learn her way! She will develop self confidence and self esteem. She will learn how wonderful she is and all that she has to offer the world and I cannot wait to open those doors for her and to provide the opportunities to help her to realize that what I have always told her is true. She can do or be ANYTHING that she wants!

My son on the other hand is naturally brilliant in an entirely different way. This is the child who at the tender age of three said "mommy that was a rhetorical question" and and he was right! He is quiet, introspective and quite bored with traditional methods of learning. Our answer to keeping him interested in school was to place a French immersion program. Initially he excelled and averaged off as he became bored. Homeschooling will allow for us to teach him at a level that coincides with his abilities versus his age. He is quite excited about the opportunities that he is going to have being home schooled. He will be allowed to pursue his passions and interests in balance with maths, sciences and languages. We will explore many different mediums that no different than his sister will take into account his personal learning style. He will develop a healthy self confidence and self esteem. He will feel good about all there is that he has to offer the world. He is AMAZING and my hope is that soon he too will realize it!

We are all very excited about this new path we are taking and looking forward to where it takes us. it is going to be a very different experience for all of us but one we are certainly up for. Perhaps this is the silver lining in chronic illness.

© 2011 Rhonda

My Children Have A Job

My children have a job. Their job is to be a student. They are to go to school each and every day that school is open in order to get their education. It is this education that is going to allow them to be whatever they want to be in life. Education opens doors and in today's society you won't get very far without one. We are so very lucky to live in a Country where education is provided and is a right for each and every child. We have a local school which is less than a ten minute walk from our house.

My children are in grades 4 and 5 and are not getting the education that we send them to school for. How can this be in 2011? What gets in the way of learning each and everyday that my children attend school? The school is open, the teachers teach and the children attend everyday, they have their school supplies, text books, note books, pens and pencils. They are smart, creative, compassionate etc ... so it should be simple to learn right? Wrong

Quite simply a child cannot learn when they are afraid. When they are worried about what happened yesterday, when they worry about what will happen at recess and or lunch. Their minds are focused but not on what they are being taught. It causes a distraction that is hard to bypass. It interferes with sleep in the form of nightmares. What is the cause of this fear you ask. Bullying.

Bullying has changed my children. My youngest daughter was so severely bullied in Grade One that she developed a severe anxiety disorder. Our local children's mental health center said they had never seen a child so young with anxiety so severe. Her anxiety is a total body experience. We have worked very hard to deal with her anxiety and she has come a very long way. She is now able to do things in spite of the anxiety. She feels it, acknowledges it and then does things anyway. So very proud of her :) On top of that she has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Her teacher last year declared her unteachable without medication. The medication intervention was successful last year but is not working the way the teacher would like this year. The answer is not to increase medication as much as the school would like us to. The medication allows her to focus but of course does not pick and choose what she focuses on. Right now she is focused on the bully that is in her classroom. She watches her every move for fear that she will strike again. She has been physically aggressive with my daughter, threatens her and bangs her desk every time she walks by it. If she is not thinking about the times she has been pushed, hit, threatened to have the glasses ripped off her face, broke in half and thrown away she is thinking about what will happen the next time. Will it be at the next recess, at lunch, afternoon recess, on her way home??

My ten year old son just last week informed me that bullying happens every day and teachers do nothing about it. He is not sleeping at night as his sleep is disrupted with nightmares about the group of kids in his class that are bullying him. He has been kicked, punched in the ribs, had soccer balls thrown in his face, he is told daily that he is stupid, fat and that he sucks at all sports. They make up stories and spread rumors about him and embarrass him in front of his whole class.

When I sent my son and daughter to begin their education they were full of joy and wonder. They were smart, creative, out going, fun loving, ready for challenges, full of spirit, caring and compassionate children. As a result of physical violence, name calling and put downs my children are quiet, withdrawn, refuse to participate for fear of giving these kids more ammunition regardless of how smart they are they no longer are willing to put themselves out there. There self esteem and feelings of self worth have been taken by these thieves. By Sunday night the tears begin at bedtime with thoughts of going to school in the morning. The struggle to get them through their morning routines and out the door to school is becoming increasingly difficult.

My husband and I have talked at length, consulted their doctors/therapists and have come to the conclusion that home schooling might be the answer to what we have been looking for. Could this be the silver lining in my illness? The opportunity to provide my children with a an education in an environment that will respect them, love them and provide opportunities for success and rebuild self esteem and self worth.

The school knows me well. I am an involved parent. They are out numbered 651 students to a staff of 35. It is a supervision issue. They have contacted families only to find the child is a reflection of their parents. These parents see nothing wrong with their children's behaviour and encourage it. They have acknowledged that they cannot keep my children safe. They are limited in what they can do in these situations. They also acknowledge the number of children who have taken their own lives as a result of being bullied at school. We had an incident in September in a neighbouring town where a child took his own life rather than start grade six the next morning. They know it is serious, they have an anti-bullying program in place...they try...they fail.

Everyone we have discussed this with has been in support of this decision. I know the kids will miss their friends and teachers. I don't think that friends and teachers are reason enough to subject them to the bullying that they have dealt with up to this point. We have had a few family discussions about home schooling. Getting a feel for what the kids think about it. The initial reaction to the subject of home schooling was relief, where do we sign up kind of thing. Then came questions and now they just don't know. It would be wonderful to not have to dealing with bullying but missing their friends is a big deal. They are torn....we want to do it but can we start after report cards come out in November, then this morning maybe we could stay in school until December. So one of two things is happening. 1. They are feeling wonderfully supported and their feelings have been validated and that makes going to school easier on a day to day basis and managing what is happening. 2. They have had a good week as far as Bullying goes. When it is good it's good and when it is bad it is HORRIBLE.  They don't know what they want and we as parents are torn it is difficult to know what is best long term. We have explained to the kids that we were exploring this alternative, gathering information so we can make an informed decision and ultimately the decision is ours. It is too big a decision to place on children of this age.

Do we home school for 6 months and see if it is what is best for our family? In that time can we get their confidence and self esteem back. If it is decided that they want to return to school will they then have the tools they need to deal with the situations that they are going to encounter. I don't want to send the message that if things are tough that the best solution is to walk away. Sometimes parenting is just tough. There are difficult decisions to be made.

What do you think? Do you home school or know someone who home schools? Will my RA/Fibro allow me to provide the education that they deserve? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

I look forward to hearing from you! Hope you are having a wonderful week.

© 2011 Rhonda