Friday, January 13, 2012

Firday January 13th, 2012 1st Year Anniversary of Chronic Illness

 Today marks 1 year since my life turned upside down and ultimately resulted with the following diagnosis': RA, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds and Sjogrens and they aren't sure they have them all yet. Still undergoing more tests! It amazes me the way auto-immune diseases cluster in individuals. If you think about it though there is really one one auto-immune disease and depending on your symptoms and where it is attacking depends on what you are diagnosed with. My body is in a full out war with itself and I am stuck in the middle of a war zone!

I woke up on this day last year and thought I had a bad flu coming on, well it wasn't the flu and the feeling hasn't left. At least this year I know for the most part what is wrong and I am undergoing treatment for all of the above. It is interesting how they declare that we need early and aggressive treatment and then it can take forever to get diagnosed. When you are finally diagnosed and they start you on medications then they sit back and let you know that it will be 3-6months before we can say for certain if the meds are going to much for early and aggressive treatments! You would think after a year of waiting, waiting for dx, waiting for tests, waiting for test results, waiting for new dr. appointments, waiting for follow up appointments that I would be the most patient person ever but just the opposite is true. I just suck at hurry up and wait...not a strength of mine that is for sure. 

When I think of anniversaries I think of celebrations. I have never been one to hold on to the dates I have lost important people in my life. I celebrate the life that was lived and tend to stay away from what was lost. I remember love and happy memories. Yet, this date the date the changed my life forever refused to be buried down deep today. It needed recognition and I am not sure why. It has crossed my minds so many times today I decided that maybe if I put it in writing it would go away and stop torturing me. Yes, it feels like torture. Jan 12, 2011 I was on top of the world. I was healthy, I  exercised, ate healthy, I was maintaining a 32lb loss, I was in love and loved by my family, I had a great job and I was excited about what the future had in store. Amazing what a difference 24 hours can make. It was after a week of feeling like I was going to die, that I went to my Dr's. I just couldn't manage the pain that I was in. I couldn't get comfortable, the pain unbearable. Little did I know that I have been displaying intermittent symptoms for years and this time it was here to stay.

There has to be something to this. A large number of individuals I have come across in forums etc. mention either this date or the date that they were diagnosed. It seems to have a haunting quality to it :(

For those of you with Chronic Illness do you remember when your symptoms became unbearable or the day you were diagnosed? I guess for me it was so clear cut between healthy one day and falling apart the next that I remember it so clearly.

© 2011 Rhonda


  1. I can't forget if I wanted to. I got my diagnoses on New Year's Eve. Yup, my ra doc thought she would call me to give me the diagnoses via phone. Oh gheeeee....thanks. It was 14 years ago now. Nope, I can't forget if I want to. I ring in the New Year every year with this memory but I do try and look at it as a glass half full and I fill the rest with champagne to toast in the New Year :-)

  2. Deb, I an understand because of the Holiday that it is something that you can't help remembering. I am not one for dates other than my immediate family's birth dates. Yet I remember the day that I woke up with the flu and figured give me a few days, week max and I would be back to normal. It was a long fight for diagnosis. The first Hashimoto's was in May sometime (can you tell not a huge deal to me), Then July 30th - Dx'd with Fibromyalgia (first crushing dx after seeing what my father has gone through with it) then 2 seeks later August 15th - RA Diagnosis (the most earth shattering of my diagnosis ever) and then In November dx'd with Raynauds and Sjorgens (not nearly as devistating as the RA or Fibro). I guess it stuns me because I have even forgotten my wedding anniversay and I LOVE my husband with all I have and our Wedding Day was one of the most special in my life other than the births of my 3 children. Oh well, maybe when I accept my new norm these dates will pass without thought. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone on this one Deb. ((HUGS)) Wishing you and your family all the best for the New Year and love that you fill the rest of your cup with champagne to toast in the New Year. You have a WONDERFUL attitude!